Brutally Honest

"It’s simple and it’s beautiful and I have no idea what I’m doing. But I know the One Who does."

Tiberjudy used to struggle to pray the Rosary, so much so that she gave it up... for years... but then:

Over the years He led me to understand something most Christians know early on: prayer isn’t about warm fuzzy feelings. Prayer has very little to do with how I feel or how I’d like to feel. Prayer is how God molds our hearts so that we can love like He loves and forgive like He forgives. Prayer works on us like the potter works the clay. In some mysterious way prayer makes us more and more like Jesus. Do I understand how this happens? No. Was I created to understand this? Maybe in heaven but not now. And I’m perfectly okay with that. I’m no theologian. I’m just a little soul trying to follow Jesus. When I realized that, the Rosary suddenly opened up to me. Now when I pray it, I let Jesus do all the work and I just follow Him, holding His mother’s hand. I quit struggling and started cooperating and the graces I began to receive increased. And the greatest of these graces is humility.

When I pray the Rosary I let Jesus show me His life while His mother gently reminds me that I’m completely dependent on her Son for everything. I need this every day. And in ways I don’t understand, the Rosary works on my soul like no other prayer or devotion. I don’t know how God does it but then I don’t know how He made the moon and the stars, or parted the Red Sea, or transformed water into wine. I don’t understand how He can bring love out of hate or good out of evil. And I don’t have to understand my redemption to know that God loves me enough to send His only Son to die for me and save me from my sins. The Rosary is just another facet of the mystery of His love. When I pray the Rosary I’m participating in the redemption mystery. It’s simple and it’s beautiful and I have no idea what I’m doing. But I know the One Who does.

         “The greatest method of praying is to pray the Rosary.”
                                                        –St. Francis de Sales
                                                                (1567 – 1622)

Read the whole thing if only to learn more about the Rosary, arguably the most Catholic of all prayers.

My own struggle with the prayer is chronicled here.

I struggle no longer.

"Christianity, then, to the Catholic is not merely an individual matter..."

All credit to Frank Weathers for this jewel-ous find, where the intent over there is to substantiate the doctrine of infallibility but where the intent over here is to validate my personal embrace of the Catholic faith.

Monsignor Robert Benson was the son of the Archbishop of Canterbury who was ordained as an Anglican priest more than 100 years ago and to the certain chagrin of his father and his family, converted to Catholicism just 8 years after that ordination.

From Frank's piece, we get this excerpt from Benson's book Christ in the Church:

For the Catholic, Jesus Christ still lives upon earth as surely, though in another and what must be called a ” mystical” sense, as He lived two thousand years ago. For He has a Body in which He lives, a Voice with which He speaks. As two thousand years ago He assumed one kind of Body by which to accomplish His purposes, so He has assumed now another kind of Body in which to continue them; and that Body consists of an unity of myriad cells — each cell a living soul complete in itself — transcending the sum of the cells and yet expressing itself through them. Christianity, then, to the Catholic is not merely an individual matter — though it is that also, as surely as the cell has individual relations with the main life of the body. But it is far more: it is corporate and transcendent.

The Catholic does not merely as a self-contained unit suck out grace through this or that sacramental channel; the priest to him is not just a vicegerent who represents or may misrepresent his Master; a spiritual life is not merely an individual existence on a spiritual plane. But to the Catholic all things are expanded, enlarged, and supernaturalized by an amazing fact: He is not merely an imitator of Christ, or a disciple of Christ, not merely even a lover of Christ; but he is actually a cell of that very Body which is Christ’s, and his life in Christ is, as a matter of fact, so far more real and significant than his individual existence, that he is able to take upon his lips without exaggeration or metaphor the words of St. Paul —” I live — yet it is no longer I that live; it is Christ that liveth in me “; he is able to appreciate as no separatist in religion can appreciate that saying of Christ Himself, that unless a man lose his life, he cannot save it.

How may times have we heard that as Christians, we are the body of Christ, we are His hands and feet.

Benson takes it to a micro level.  We're actually a cell of that very Body, which is Christ's.

Fascinating.

From there, you can, I'd think see where the infallibility of the Church is inevitable but from here, it simply puts meat on this notion, this need, this necessity, to be seen as Christ and to see Christ in others.

Excellent stuff.

Carry on.

"Hey, you're praying the Rosary!"

Yesterday, Katrina Fernandez, also known as The Crescat, put this up on Facebook:

At Game Stop this evening... girl who works there spies my Catholic medals and flashes me her crucifix & medal and says "Hey you're Catholic"... I reply "Yeah I am" and we both shout "Holy rollers!" in the middle of the store and high five. True story. My son just pretended not to know me.

I too have found a special kinship, a special camaraderie, with those who are public about their Catholic faith.  It's hard to describe really, but high fiving them is definitely an urge I find I have to supress when I come across the fellow faithful.

A few days ago, while walking the dog in the neighborhood, I was praying a Rosary.

I eventually found my way to a dock overlooking one of the many nearby ponds where I planned on finishing the decade or two I had left to pray when I noticed a trio of kids, maybe 7 or 8 years old, coming my way with fishing poles in hand. I decided to leave the dock to them and as I walked past, the youngest of the three noticed my beads and exclaimed with a huge grin on his face, "Hey, you're praying the Rosary! Our family prays the Rosary too!"

I smiled back at him big-time while responding, "Yep, every day!" and he said "us too!" 

'Twas a magical moment for me and by the look on the little guy's face, I believe firmly he thought the same.

Special kinship indeed.

I am Catholic because...

... I was truly lost before and now am truly found.

... I can be in the presence of God regularly.

... I can regularly take confessional baths that make me incredibly clean and reconcile me to the Great Reconciler.

... I have become part of something solid, something ancient, something certain, something right.

... the gates of hell will not prevail against Catholicism and by extension, me.

... I want to be pushed toward greater charity, greater compassion, greater love because none of those things come naturally to me... quite the contrary.

... I have 2,000 years of one person after another having embraced Catholicism before me and who've encountered Christ in that embrace in nearly every conceivable way.

... I am convinced that the Holy Spirit leads this Church on earth and has led me back to her.

... Catholicism challenges my thinking, preempts my wrongheaded presuppositions, guides me toward truth... and to The Truth. 

... because when you're home, you know you're home... and I am home.

Inspired, in part, by Fr. Longenecker:

Do you pray?

I hope you do and if you do, I personally would like for you to pray this Holy Week for three particular needs.

The first is for someone named Michael.  I don't have particulars but a friend asked me to pray and to lift this need up to others.  Who am I to ignore that request?

The second is for a little baby girl named Hadley diagnosed with cancer.  I have been moved by the Facebook page set up for her and the beautiful prayers found therein.  Check it out... and pray for her.

Lastly, I'm asking for prayers for my Dad.  He's facing some serious vascular surgery in a few days and is, understandably, shook up about it.  Pray for J.D., his doctors and my mother who is most anxious.

Thank you... and amen to each of your prayers.

"... this understanding saves us from so many pitfalls in mis-reading of Scripture"

Two weeks before resigning the papacy, Pope Benedict XVI delivered the following in an address before the clergy of Rome:

I remember more or less the formula "non omnis certitudo de veritatibus fidei potest sumi ex Sacra Scriptura", in other words, the Church’s certainty about her faith is not born only of an isolated book, but has need of the Church herself as a subject enlightened and guided by the Holy Spirit. Only then does the Scripture speak with all its authority.

This phrase is decisive, I would say, for showing the Church’s absolute necessity, and thus understanding the meaning of Tradition, the living body in which this word draws life from the outset and from which it receives its light, in which it is born. The fact of the canon of Scripture is already an ecclesial fact: that these writings are Scripture is the result of an illumination of the Church, who discovered in herself this canon of Scripture; she discovered it, she did not create it; and always and only in this communion of the living Church can one really understand and read the Scripture as the word of God, as a word which guides us in life and in death.

Fr. Denis Lemieux uses those words and expounds:

We tend to think of things in terms of competitive opposites: Scripture or Tradition, the Word of God or the teaching authority of the Church. The more we can understand that God is the primary actor in the life of the Church and of salvation history, the more we can move out of this strange quasi-Marxist power struggle view of revelation and ‘who is in charge, who gets the last word’ being the most important question.

God reveals Himself to a body of believers, giving them a written inspired text and a living Tradition, and above all his Holy Spirit to abide with them to condition and guide their reception and interpretation of the revealed truth. It is a messy process, imperfect because sinful human beings are imperfect, but nonetheless that is our Catholic understanding of it.

And this understanding saves us from so many pitfalls in mis-reading of Scripture. One example, which is commonplace today. The exegete Rudolph Bultmann famously said that it is impossible to believe in miracles in the age of radio waves and antibiotics. Hence the miracle stories in the Bible are symbolic or legendary or something: at any rate, not to be taken literally. The dead cannot be raised, nor the blind healed, nor the lame walk, nor bread and fish multiplied. Of course not: we are modern scientific people, and know better.

Except… the Church has 2000 years of experience of, well, miracles performed by saints all over the place. Bultmann was a contemporary of Padre Pio! Lourdes is a place of ongoing miraculous healings. I personally know of instances of food being multiplied in soup kitchens for Christ’s poor. Miracles are not commonplace events of course—they wouldn’t be called miracles if they were. But if Bultmann was doing his exegesis within the catholic communion, he would never have written such a silly sentence.

That’s one example, and there are many others. It is the Church and its long experience of the ways of God in the world that conditions our reading of Scripture to keep it true to God’s Spirit. And that is how God’s revelation of love and saving power is passed on from one generation to the next, for 2000 years and counting.

Not sure how to end this frankly other than to acknowledge that not long ago, Pope Benedict's words and those of Fr. Lemieux would not have gone gone down well for me.  I was a Sola Scriptura guy and argued with many over the concept until it became clear, as I continued to read the Scriptures and read those who also read the Scriptures, that too many times the discussions led to petty semantics and ultimately futility and anger.  About the only thing we Protestants back then seemed to agree on was that Catholicism was our common enemy, that Catholicism didn't hold a high enough view of Scripture and that Tradition was anathema.

Of course, I don't see it that way any longer.

I've come to embrace Catholicism fully though I'm still finding things out about her.  What I do know is that each time I find something that seems off to me about the faith, my digging and research has brought me to an understanding not only of the truth but on what lousy foundations my original misgivings were built upon.

I am home.  I am staying.  I am convinced that though I continue to seek to gain a deeper understanding, I have found what I'm seeking.

Carry on.

"Pray!"

No, this isn't another post about the Pope, about wisdom from my priest, or a personal request for divine intervention.

It's actually about the response given when NASA Administrator Charles Bolden Jr. was asked yesterday at a House Committee hearing what America should do if a meteor similar to the one that wreaked havoc in Russia was on its way to America:

At the moment, we might be lucky to get even three weeks warning. The United States and the rest of the world simply do not have the ability to detect many "small" meteors like the one that exploded over Russia, which has been estimated at roughly 55 feet long. Donald Yeomans, Manager of NASA's Near-Earth Object Program Office and the author of "Near-Earth Objects: Finding Them Before They Find Us," told CBSNews.com that there are a lot of these small meteors in orbit, and little early warning system in place to detect them.

...

If such an object is discovered to be approaching Earth, the leading contender to address the problem would be to crash a spacecraft into it in order to slow it down and alter its course. "If you find it early enough, and you smack it early enough, you've got enough time," said Yeomans. The technology already exists to track and hit a space object: In 2005, NASA deliberately struck the Tempel 1 comet and photographed the impact. Still, for a large object, you'd need billions of dollars and, Yeomans estimates, at least a 10-year head start.

"The technology is there, the question is do we have enough time to plan, build, launch and intercept these objects prior to an impact," he said. The good news is that, in the case of a large object approaching Earth, we would be expected to have decades of advanced warning.

Bolden's response to pray was likely meant as a joke or perhaps, more cynically, as a means to seek more funding for the agency he leads, but I find it revealing nevertheless.

I've been in situations, particularly recently, where my suggestion to seek prayer, especially from a priest, was responded to by a word of caution that doing so might evoke fear because it could be seen to be a last resort before something terrible happens and no one wanted to communicate that the situation was that serious.

Think on that a minute.

We've reached a point culturally where a call to a priest for prayer is seen to be something that ought to be done only as a last resort and, in essence, avoided because no one wants to invoke fear.

It highlights for me how... well... weird I guess... I've become.

I go to a priest for prayer because I believe I need the help.  I go because I need to deal with the fear I already have.  I go because I've come to know and trust that it helps.

I go because I have a need and going meets that need.

We need to figure out, and I don't sadly have an answer, how to convey that going to priests for prayer isn't just for the dying.

It's particularly for the living.

I appreciate Mr. Bolden giving me the opportunity to air this out.

Carry on.

The more I see of Pope Francis, the more aware I become of my need for a Savior

I'm a sinner.  Some know this more than others but let's not kid around, I'm not the kind of Catholic, the kind of Christian, that inspires someone to fall headlong into the arms of Christ based solely on how He's transformed me into one seriously holy guy.

Unlike Pope Francis, who since his election less than a week ago to the Papal seat, seems to do one thing after another that cements his status in my mind as someone who's the real deal when it comes to acting like Jesus.

Watch this moving video of the Pope stopping to bless a disabled man, coming our way via Deacon Greg, and witness yet another glimpse of the man's integrity and character.

He's one to imitate... he's one I believe will draw folks to the bosom of Christ... he's one who maybe, just maybe, will help me become the kind of person I need and ought to be.

“A Circular Sandbox of Sin and Salvation” (UPDATED)

I first wrote about my priest Mike Joly back in November of 2009 after attending my first Mass at the Parish of St. Joan of Arc where I continue to worship.  

Here's an excerpt from that piece:

Fr. Mike Joly (Jo-lee), who happened to have been officially named pastor of the Church at a special service this morning, presided over the Saturday evening service and I tell ya, we may have found the Church we want to stick with.   And not just because of Joly, though his presence (and presentation) was pretty powerful.

Liturgy to some can become rote, especially when read in the most rote of ways… but think of a blind priest… he can’t read it… and yes, I’m aware that after awhile, it’s all memorized anyway but this guy… he lived the liturgy… by that I mean he brought it to life… it was quite an experience… blind since he was 5 (not sure yet how he became that way), he’s been ordained since his late 20’s (he was even featured in this New York Times piece some 15 years or so ago) and so there’s no doubt that he’d done this countless times, but it was as if he was doing it for the first time that evening and I was sincerely moved by the man, by his faith, by his passion, by his love for what he was doing.

Think about it for just a second, here’s a guy who’s a blindpriest… ponder the faith that this takes… I mean… the dude’s blind… but clearly, to me and I'm sure to others, he sees... and based on that particular service, he sees so much more than the rest of us.  He supplied some much needed nourishment to me yesterday, some solace and assurance that Someone is indeed in charge and in control. 

The Anchoress' post was a timely reminder that in truth "the Creator, while attending his creation, provides the perfect teacher at theperfect time" and this teacher, and his blindness, very much helped me to see and "find The Word in the words".

It was genuinely cool.

Today, and hopefully well into the future, I'm going to start publishing Father Mike's weekly reflections found in the parish bulletin.  Here's this week's.

Good stuff.  

You should hear his homilies.  If you're in the neighborhood, look him up and pay him a visit.  Let him know I sent ya.

UPDATE: I jumped out in front of Father Mike a bit and he was a bit uncomfortable with mixing his reflections with my politics here so... I've taken down his reflection while leaving the link up to where you can find it on your own. 

"... asking Jesus Christ to be our “personal Lord and Savior” doesn’t go nearly far enough."

Dr. Greg shares on why he's Catholic:

If religion represents the human quest to draw closer to God, I want nothing less than a religion that makes the boldest, most audacious claims about the kind of relationship that’s possible to achieve.  The general Christian belief in a God who wants a personal relationship with us is certainly revolutionary.  No other faith comes close.  But shockingly, Catholics believe that asking Jesus Christ to be our “personal Lord and Savior” doesn’t go nearly far enough.

More than a spiritual communion, Catholics believe God desires to be physically united with us too.  We are not just spirits.  We are ensouled bodies and God wants every part of us for himself (Rom 14:8).  Because of the Eucharist, the true Body and Blood of Christ (Jn 6:55), I am one with His Flesh and His Blood courses through my veins.  I am not just spiritually part of God’s family, I am his real kin, his own “flesh and blood.”  Having received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior in the most personal way possible, I am made a son of God, not metaphorically.  Literally (CCC #460, 1391).

Relationship with God doesn’t get any closer than that.  That’s why I’m Catholic.

Want a relationship with Christ, become a Christian and a big hats off welcome to you.

I wanted something much deeper and came back to the faith of my youth, one I abandoned in ignorance.

I'm getting now what I wanted.

Thanks be to God.