Brutally Honest

Giving new meaning to your golf game going to crap

Just saw this on ESPN and it cracked me up:

Graeme McDowell reached the semifinals of the World Match Play Championship after knocking out defending champion Nicolas Colsaerts, whose day include the bizarre moment of taking a penalty drop inside a restroom.

McDowell rallied from an early deficit to win 2 and 1 over his European Ryder Cup teammate on the oceanside Thracian Cliffs course and will next face Branden Grace of South Africa, who beat Chris Wood of England 2 and 1. The other semifinal will pit Thomas Aiken of South Africa against Thailand's Thongchai Jaidee.

Colsaerts had the most memorable moment of the day when his tee shot on the short par-4 10th hole flew into a hazard behind a public restroom in a brick building close to the green. Because of where the ball had crossed the hazard line, tournament officials ruled that the penalty drop must be made within the restroom itself, leading to a comical moment that had Colsaerts, his caddie and rules officials all laughing.

"I ain't hitting it out of the loo," Colsaerts joked.

He didn't have to. Since it was considered an immovable obstruction he was then given free relief to play from outside.

He ended up saving par and halving the hole.

"I'm sure now the whole episode at 10 is going to make all the TV news programs, Facebook and all the social media sites with the caption: 'Here's some Belgium guy playing golf in some toilet block in Bulgaria,' " Colsaerts joked. "It's the first time I've ever hit a ball into a toilet block, and you would have thought as a kid I would have been crazy enough to practice that shot. But I never did."

I play some crappy golf... but I can honestly say it's never been this crappy.

Carry on.

True story

Would Mark Shea lie?

Hans Grapje was raised in a Catholic school in The Hague and, as a young man, aspired to become a priest, but was drafted into the Army during WWII and spent two years co-piloting B17s until his aircraft was shot down in 1943 and he lost his left arm.
Captain Grapje spent the rest of the war as a chaplain, giving spiritual aid to soldiers, both Allied and enemy.

After the war, he became a priest, serving as a missionary in Africa, piloting his own plane (in spite of his handicap) to villages across the continent.

In 1997, Father Grapje was serving in Zimbabwe when an explosion in a silver mine caused a cave-in. The now Archbishop Grapje went down into the mine to administer last rights to those too severely injured to move. Another shaft collapsed, and he was buried for three days, suffering multiple injuries, including the loss of his right eye. The high silver content in the mine's air gave him purpura, a life-long condition characterized by purplish skin blotches.

Although Cardinal Grapje devoted his life to the service of God as a scholar, mentor, and holy man, church leaders agree: he will never ascend to the Papacy. No one wants a One-Eyed, One-Armed, Flying Purple Papal Leader.

Mark's there all week.

Please tip your waiter.

And carry on.

"Bro, I knew something was wrong when a little pretty white girl ran into a black man's arms"

Meet Charles Ramsey, a soon to be Internet sensation.  

He helps rescue a woman that had been missing for 10 years and that's only the beginning of this fascinating story:

Ramsey was eating in his home south of downtown Cleveland when he heard screaming next door and went to investigate. That's when he saw Amanda Berry, a woman who went missing 10 years ago, and a young child. Berry was shouting for help and trying to get outside.

"I go on the porch and she said 'Help me get out. I've been here a long time.'" Ramsey said.

He and another witness then broke the bottom of the door and freed the inhabitants. Inside the house were two other missing women: Gina Dejesus, who disappeared in 2004, and Michele Knight, who went missing in 2002.

Ramsey used his cellphone to call 911; click here to listen to the exchange (Warning: Graphic language).

When he handed the phone to Berry, she told the 911 dispatcher: "I've been kidnapped, and I've been missing for 10 years. And I'm here. I'm free now."

Ramsey told WEWS-TV that he was stunned by the news that these women had been held captive next door.

"I barbecue with this dude," Ramsey said. "We eat ribs and what not, listen to salsa music, you see where I'm coming from? Not a clue that that girl was in that house, or anybody else was in there against their will."

This interview with Mr. Ramsey is guaranteed to go viral and guaranteed to make Mr. Ramsey a star:

“I’m sorry sir, we can’t do that. You’ve reached your personal slice limit.” (UPDATE)

Hats off to the pizza shop owners in New York who gave Mayor Bloomberg a little of his own medicine:

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg was denied a second slice of pizza today at an Italian eatery in Brooklyn.

The owners of Collegno's Pizzeria say they refused to serve him more than one piece to protest Bloomberg's proposed soda ban,which would limit the portions of soda sold in the city.

Bloomberg was having an informal working lunch with city comptroller John Liu at the time and was enraged by the embarrassing prohibition. The owners would not relent, however, and the pair were forced to decamp to another restaurant to finish their meal.

Witnesses say the situation unfolded when as the two were looking over budget documents, they realized they needed more food than originally ordered.

"Hey, could I get another pepperoni over here?" Bloomberg asked owner Antonio Benito.

"I'm sorry sir," he replied, "we can't do that. You've reached your personal slice limit."

Mayor Bloomberg, not accustomed to being challenged, assumed that the owner was joking.

"OK, that's funny," he remarked, "because of the soda thing ... No come on. I'm not kidding. I haven't eaten all morning, just send over another pepperoni."

"I'm sorry sir. We're serious," Benito insisted. "We've decided that eating more than one piece isn't healthy for you, and so we're forbidding you from doing it."

"Look jack**s," Bloomberg retorted, his anger boiling, "I f****ng skipped breakfast this morning just so I could eat four slices of your pizza. Don't be a schmuck, just get back to the kitchen and bring out some f****ng pizza, okay."

"I'm sorry sir, there's nothing I can do," the owner repeated. "Maybe you could go to several restaurants and get one slice at each. At least that way you're walking. You know, burning calories."

Witnesses say a fuming Bloomberg and a bemused Liu did indeed walk down the street to a rival pizzeria , ordered another slice and finished their meeting.

I so hope this is true.

And I hope Bloomberg learned something... though I doubt it.

H/T to Mr. Shea who adds with glee, "He has cast down the mighty in their arrogance and lifted up the lowly."

UPDATE:  Doh!  I've been snookered.  Ron points it out in the comments.  

I should've known it was too good to be true.

Fox News' Mike Tobin rebuffs the ladies, on air

I watched this live when it happened and just cracked up.

I think you will as well.

The man is so polite.

"It's like, if I want your wallet, but the policeman is getting in my way"

I'm sensing you need a chuckle.  Seriously, I am.  So... watch this.  

43 years ago today

Hard to believe it's been that long but on April 17, 1970, the ill-fated Apollo 13 splashed down safely in the South Pacific ocean after a harrowing trip to the moon and back.

What might not be so well known is the related towing bill that was sent by Grumman Aerospace to Rockwell International.

Pretty funny stuff:

One result of the flight of Apollo 13 was more humorous than substantive. After the successful splashdown and recovery of the crew, engineers at Grumman Aerospace, the Bethpage, New York, based contractor that built the LM, sent Rockwell International, the builder of the CSM, a $400,000 bill for “towing and road service” for the use of Aquarius as a rescue craft. Word of the joke eventually reached the news media; for months after the flight, Grumman received hundreds of dollars in contributions from private citizens who wanted to help Rockwell pay its debt to the builder of the LM.

Click on the image of the bill below for a larger pic.

H/T to NASAWatch.

If only...

Via Eye of the Tiber, the story that should top all stories:

Vice President Joe Biden announced today that he was stepping down as Vice President just hours after an altercation on the phone between Biden and President Obama regarding the sanctity of life. This comes on the heels of Biden’s visit with with Pope Francis after the conclusion of the pope’s Installation Mass, in which Biden could be heard uttering the words “what have I done…what have I done.” “It appears as though Mr. Biden has had a change of heart with regards to the abortion issue after his meeting with the pope earlier today,” U.S. Press Secretary Jay Carney told the press moments ago. “He [Biden] called President Obama and informed him that he could no longer stand by as millions of babies were aborted. He also said that he had confessed his sins and now looked to remain in good standings with the Church and the good Lord. He also urged President Obama to make peace with God.” Although the full details of the phone conversation have been slow to come out, Washington insiders have said that after a heated debate about when life begins, Biden told President Obama that he was stepping down ”effective immediately” to live a life of prayer and meditation. Biden aides have yet to comment on the details, but have confirmed reports that the former vice president had placed a call to Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI about staying with him
until he could get an abandoned monastery of his own to live out the rest of his life. At press time, a bare-chested Biden was seen on his knees outside St. Peter’s Basilica, repeatedly lashing himself as he screamed the words “mea culpa” in reparation for his sins.

This just in... Nancy Pelosi has followed suit, joining the Imagine Sisters and dedicating herself to becoming the kind of Catholic she has always wanted to be.

Sigh.

If only...

Satan as Obama in the History Channel's Bible series? (UPDATED)

I saw some of this on social media, chuckled a bit and moved on, not giving it much more thought.  Apparently, I'm being insensitive as it appears the Obama loving media has picked up on it and seem, surprise, outraged:

Casting the devil is a tricky thing; if you're not going with a caricature of a cloven-hooved man all in red with horns then you're going to have to watch what kind of face you put on the face of evil. History Channel's 10-part miniseries hit "The Bible," however, cast an actor (Mohamen Mehdi Ouazani) to play Satan that -- to some -- seems uncomfortably familiar. 

"Anyone else think the Devil in #TheBible Sunday on History Channel looks exactly like That Guy?" tweeted @GlennBeck on Saturday, the day before the show aired to the general public, and linked to a photo from the series Ouazani, hooded and in character. (Beck has taken a vow not to say the name of President Barack Obama in all of 2013, and so uses "that guy" instead.)

That helped lead the charge on Twitter and beyond, as others jumped on the bandwagon to agree -- or voice strong disagreement.

...

As of Monday morning, show creators Mark Burnett and Roma Downey had not addressed the comparisons on Twitter; actor Ouazani does not appear to have a Twitter account. History Channel has not yet responded to requests for a comment.

Some of that Twitter feedback at the link.

Clearly the character playing Jesus should've looked like Obama... that would've have better fit the meme.

UPDATE: The producers of the show have weighed in:

The producers of the cable TV miniseries on the Bible say Internet chatter that their Satan character resembles President Barack Obama is "utter nonsense."

Mark Burnett and Roma Downey said Monday the Moroccan actor who played Satan in the History channel series, Mehdi Ouzaani, has played Satanic characters in other Biblical programs long before Obama was elected president.
The connection got widespread attention after talk show host Glenn Beck last week tweeted: "Does Satan look EXACTLY like Obama? Yes!"

History said in a statement that the network has "the highest respect" for Obama, and that "it's unfortunate that anyone made this false connection."

"Both Mark and I have nothing but respect and love our president, who is a fellow Christian," said Downey, the "Touched By an Angel" actress who is married to Burnett. "False statements such as these are just designed as a foolish distraction to try and discredit the beauty of the story of the Bible."

Beck has actually been a big supporter of "The Bible." The same tweet that pointed out the actor's resemblance to Obama urged his followers: "Don't miss it."

On Monday, Beck tweeted "Media — relax."

He said the observation was "funny, nothing more" and that the series "is 1 of my fav shows. Keep watching."

I've enjoyed it so far but have yet to see this particular episode.  Will enjoy it all the more now.

:)

Conclave exit polls indicate next Pope will be Catholic

To the chagrin of many.

Main stream media will be going with the stock "Women and minorities hardest hit" meme tonight and throughout the conclave.

Carry on.