These were originally sent to me by the missus as blonde jokes... but I thought they were much funnier after I tweaked them a bit. See if you agree:
An Obama Supporter & her husband are lying in bed
Listening to the next door neighbor's dog..
It has been in the backyard barking for hours & hours.
The Obama Supporter jumps up out of bed and says,
"I've had enough of this".
She goes downstairs.
The Obama Supporter finally comes back up to bed
And her husband says, "The dog is still barking,
What have you been doing?"
The Obama Supporter says,
"I put the dog in our backyard,
let's see how THEY like it.
Two Obama Supporters With Hammers...
Lynn & Judy were doing some carpentry work
On a Habitat for Humanity House.
Lynn was nailing down house siding,
She’d reach into her nail
Pouch, pull out a nail & either toss it
Over her shoulder or nail it in.
Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, '
Why are you throwing those nails away?'
Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch,
About half of them have the head on the wrong end
& I throw them away.'
Judy got completely upset & yelled,
'You moron! Those nails aren't defective!
They're for the other side of the house!'
Did you hear about the two Obama Supporters
Who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'
You might have to think twice about this one.
An Obama Supporter hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip
Of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency
Room doctor asked her.
'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the Obama Supporter replied.
'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting
Off your finger?'
'No, silly' the Obama Supporter said 'First I put the gun to my chest, &
Then I thought, 'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants...
I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'
'So then?' asked the doctor.
'Then I put the gun in my mouth, & I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00
To get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'
'So then?' asked the doctor.
'Then I put the gun to my ear, & I thought: 'This is going to make a
Loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the
An Obama Supporter was driving home after a game & got caught in a really bad
Hailstorm... Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
To a repair shop The shop owner saw that she was an Obama Supporter, so he
Decided to have some fun... He told her to go home and blow into the
Tail pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out.
So, the Obama Supporter went home, got down on her hands & knees & started
Blowing into her tailpipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little
Harder, & still nothing happened.
Her Obama Supporter roommate saw her & asked, 'What are you doing?' The first
Obama Supporter told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the
Tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes & said, 'Uh, like hello!
You need to roll up the windows first.'
These are just too cute not to pass on!!!!
An Obama Supporter was shopping at Target &
Came across a shiny silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took
It to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos.....
It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.'
'Wow, said the Obama Supporter, 'that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!'
So she bought the thermos & took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk.
'What's that,' he asked?
'Why, that's a thermos...... It keeps hot things hot & cold things
Cold,' she replied..
Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'
The blond replied......
'Two popsicles & some coffee.'
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
An Obama Supporter goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'
The Obama Supporter replies,
'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
My mother had passed away.'
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says,
'Why don't you go home for the
Day? Take the day off to relax & rest.'
'Thanks, but I'd be better off here.
I need to keep my mind off it &
I have the best chance of doing that here.'
The boss agrees & allows the Obama Supporter to work as usual.
A couple of hours pass & the boss decides to check on the Obama Supporter.
He looks out from his office & sees the Obama Supporter crying hysterically..
'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.
'No!' exclaims the Obama Supporter.
'I just received a horrible call from my
sister. Her mother died, too!'
Obama Supporters Are AbsolutelyThe Best!!!