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« Life-long liberal Democrat rejects man-made global warming | Main | What media bias? »

Sunday, September 28, 2008

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Leading researchers at Pulled Outta Myass University have successfully connected this trend of hypersensitivity toward imagined racial slights, to a dramatic increase in the phenomenon known as global climate change.

"The science is settled," said Dr. Phil Uvitt, Ph.D., lead researcher whose findings will be published this week. "In 1998 the democrat party began in earnest to defend Bill Clinton, who was regarded by many as the first black President of the United States. That's when this latest chapter of racial hypersensitivity began. And, as any fool knows, 1998 was the warmest year on record. Since then, we've seen the lines on the graph perfectly line up, and hey if that's good enough for Al Gore it's good enough for me."

Experts like Dr. Uvitt agree there are several things you can do to help fight the Racial Hypersensitivity Global Climate Change Problem. Something as simple as choosing a competent, qualified candidate to be President will eliminate the need to go accusing total strangers of racism, and experts say this will have additional benefits for you as well -- such as lowering your blood pressure, helping you live longer, and you'll feel better too. Stop reading the Huffington Post, Democratic Underground -- or Deborah Douglas of the Chicago Sun Times. Or if you do have to support completely unqualified candidates for high office just because of the color of their skin, try to find one who doesn't have a lifelong history of associating closely with America-hating a**holes. And knows there are fifty states in the nation.

In extreme cases, in which you can't find such a candidate who agrees with your views, experts agree you should probably seek professional help.

By practicing these helpful tips, and a few others, you can help do your part to put this awful trend in check, and who knows, perhaps we can save the planet. Together, we can do this.

Damn Morgan... that was one of your best...

I think I'll put up the whole thing as it's own post.

Priceless.

So, what's wrong with us uppity bigots who want Bobby Jindal on the national stage in a few years? He's not exactly white, even though he's not from Africa.

What is this sad obsession we have with morals, ethics and having a few brain cells?

Woe is us.

*rolls eyes*

You are a moron...and you spelled deap-seated wrong.
And seriously, you think supporting black rights makes you unhealthy and could impact the effects of global warming?
I didn't think there was such a thing as someone who denies global warming, but I guess I'm wrong...
...someone who says that global warming is caused by "uppity black folks" is stupider than someone who denies global warming...

Thanks Sam... I corrected the spelling...

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