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Tuesday, March 11, 2008

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Ferraro. She motivated me to cast my very first vote. Age 18, there I was, 7:00 a.m. Not so much re-electing Reagan, but voting against Ferraro.

I have a dream.

I have a dream, that one day, the democrat party will throw their support behind someone female who, whatever her politics, whoever she loves and hates, whether she is an atheist or not, whether she believes in globular wormening or not, whether or not she's a card-carrying member of the A.C.L.U., whether she keeps her husband locked up and chained in the basement or whether she bakes cookies and stands by her man --

-- when she speaks, her voicebox puts out soothing, melodic dulcet tones.

CAN THEY DO THIS? In my lifetime, these bitter women who attract all this support from the democrat party can shatter glass every time they open their caustic cakeholes. Ferraro...24 years later, I can't get that sound out of my head. Like a sick chicken. The first vote I ever cast in my life was against her and I couldn't get out early enough in the morning to get it cast. And Hillary is cut from the same cloth. She has that duckbill-resonance YELLING AT ME LIKE I'M A THREE YEAR OLD THAT GOT CAUGHT DRAWING ON THE KITCHEN WALLS ALL THE GODDAMN TIME.

If I spent a week or two trying to find one woman who talks this way, I only have a fifty-fifty chance. If you want me to find three, forget it. But the democrat party can not only find them, it seems to have been applying this as a standard, for generations. If you're female, and you want their support, your voicebox should hurt people.

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