"It depends on what your definition of 'men' is."

AskMom on the latest efforts to emasculate men:

According to Yahoo's front page, some androgynous but putatively male synthebrity is making eyeliner a must for men.

When pigs fly.  Or, to paraphrase another master of manipulating appearances:  It depends on what your definition of "men" is.

Appealing as Yahoo's unformed and pouty creature may be to pedophiles and poorly-parented 13 year old girls, I just don't see the red-blooded men of fly-over country flocking to the Clinique counters anytime soon.  Johnny Depp wannabees at Yahoo can call it "Guyliner" until the last Pirates of the Caribbean Sequel, but anyone who knows his way around a socket set will see it for the hogwash it is.

So here's a few blue collar truths for all you cosmetically enhanced nancy-boys:  real women won't share their mascara with anyone who doesn't wear a bra.  Having a brother who is higher maintenance than she is won't bring a girl happiness.  Smart women want a man, not a gender-neutral makeup consultant, to help them raise their children. 

When the firefighters who congregate at our local coffeeshop show up wearing eyeshadow and blusher color-coordinated to their Nomex bunker gear, I'll believe it's a real trend.  Until then, I recommend that men put down the eyeliner, step away from the lipstick, and remember that Yahoo isn't talking to you.

"Cosmetically enhanced nancy-boys".

Heh.
 

Comments

[Mommynator]

The only reason we watched Saturday Night Live this last weekend was because Feist was singing.

However, one of their skits was very apropos - the Maybelline for Men! You can't tell it's on! or something to that effect. Of course, these guys came out looking tarted up, and it was actually a very funny skit.

That'll be the day my welder/fitter/hunter/gardener husband wears makeup.

[salvage]

Ah one thing I love about conservatives is when they think that they have some sort of fashion and style insight.

How many of those firemen have earrings and studs?

How many of them wear pink?

How many fireman sported those kinds of fashions back in the 70s and 80s?

[Morgan K Freeberg]

Well, it's no more dysfunctional than the butt-crack pants. Once the Maslow Hierarchy of Needs has been fulfilled too reassuringly and too reliably too early in life, the human spirit has noplace else to go. I fully expect the next fad to have something to do with mistreating the cadavers of dead animals.

That, or self-mutil-- oh, wait that's right.

[El Dee]

Salvage,
Are you sure you aren't thinking of the Canadians. Don't see too many firemen here in the U.S. who are metrosexuals. All I see are real men. And the 70's and 80's are long gone...get over it. But I have seen some male fashion statements from Canada....most definitely a turn off.

[Mommynator]

Firemen with earrings and studs? I don't think so. One really hot fire and whatever that metal is attached to is gone. My husband's a welder/fitter. No rings, no nothing. Same deal.

And firefighting is a pretty dirty job. That they clean up well and are still masculine says a lot about them.

And who said butt crack jeans were masculine? They're just ridiculous in their attempt to be cool because some hardened criminals are denied the civilized benefits of belts.

And pink, historically, was a masculine color - like I said before, you need to read some serious history. Try going back to the Victorians.

And before you get off on the wigs, they were worn because the men shaved their heads to prevent head lice. Only thing was, they powdered them with flour and had lice anyway.

One more time.

READ SOME SERIOUS HISTORY.

Primary documents preferred (diaries, letters, etc.)

[salvage]

>Firemen with earrings and studs? I don't think so. One really hot fire and whatever that metal is attached to is gone.

Um fireman? They wear equipment like full helmets? And if they're close to a fire that's hot enough to melt metal what do you think it will do to flesh?

Furthermore you do understand that earrings can be removed for work right?

SO, there are no firemen with earrings or studs anywhere in America? Is that what you're saying?

>My husband's a welder/fitter. No rings, no nothing. Same deal.

No, not even close to the same deal.

[Morgan K Freeberg]

I just get this twinkle in my eye watching Mister "Go Do Some Research Because You Don't Agree With Me Yet" being told to go and do some research. Gives my day a lift.

[salvage]

I'll ask again, there are no firemen with earrings?

[Mommynator]

One more time.

THERE ARE NO FIREMEN WITH EARRINGS. At least not while on duty.

Please see my previous post about why people who work with HOT HOT HOT THINGS like fire and welds and torches, etc., do NOT wear jewelry.

*eyes rolling madly*

[Mommynator]

salvage, you crack me up you do.

What exactly do you know about welding? Have you ever been in a steel shop or on a construction site? Or did you see something about it on Nerd TV and not pay attention?

Gosh, people like you just give me the giggles.

[salvage]

>THERE ARE NO FIREMEN WITH EARRINGS. At least not while on duty.

Ah, there we go, maybe not on duty but as a fashion accessory an earing is now perfectly acceptable for men yes? And at one point it wasn't, correct? So my point that things chang, your rigid ideas on the expression and nature of masculinity notwithstanding.

>What exactly do you know about welding?

Not much, I wrecked the spot welder in grade 8 shop making a giant steel ruler out of smaller ones.

But I do know that welding is nothing like firefighting and that some firemen do have pierced ears.

[geoff]

Our founding fore fathers wore make-up, ruffles, lace, and wigs. In fact, puffy ruffle shirts with lace trimming on the cuffs were fashionable for men in the 60's. Soldiers in the Roman Empire wore "skirts". If you go far enough back in history you'll realize your concepts of gender are not, and have never been, absolute or innate. Ignorance is bliss, but only for those who are ignorant. The rest of us have to suffer as a result.