Mr. Ed's Revenge

Holy cow:

King County sheriff's detectives are investigating the owners of an Enumclaw-area farm after a Seattle man died from injuries sustained while having sex with a horse boarded on the property.

Investigators first learned of the farm after the man died at Enumclaw Community Hospital July 2. The county Medical Examiner's Office ruled that the death was accidental and the result of having sex with a horse.

Did the guy die at the hands hooves of the victimized horse, or was the victim's jealous stallion involved? 

Inquiring minds and all that jazz have a need to know.

Absent this important information, we're left with the impression that the sex wasn't consensual.  But of course, this story is multi-faceted and gets...er... better probably isn't the right word:

Deputies don't believe a crime occurred because bestiality is not illegal in Washington state and the horse was uninjured, said Urquhart. But because investigators found chickens, goats and sheep on the property, they are looking into whether animal cruelty — which is a crime — was committed by having sex with these smaller, weaker animals, he said.

The farm was talked about in Internet chat rooms as a destination for people looking to have sex with livestock, he said.

"A significant number of people, we believe, have likely visited this farm," said Urquhart.

Hmmm... let me see if I've got this right...  There's no crime involved not because the victimized nag failed to press charges nor because bestiality in Washington is illegal but because minority rights are allegedly being violated (or soon will be if these Internet clowns have their way)...

Had these deputies found a farm where species of chickens, goats and sheep (that are bigger and stronger than the average human) roamed the fields and pastures, then there'd be no need for further investigations.  But given that smaller, weaker animals are being targeted, well, something must be done.

Seems to raise bigger issues in my mind.  After all, if the poor bastard that died had understood horse talk for "no, I have a forelockache", he might still be alive.

I believe there to be a clear need for a new government sponsored educational program.  Government grants funding the finding of ways humans and animals can better communicate is necessary.  And of course the whole notion of safe sex takes on new and more interesting challenges.

Sigh.

Opportunity abounds here folks. 

Call your congressmen.

Comments

[not perfect David]

Rick, thanks for the link. This is the second funniest news story all day in a day full of absurdly comical news. 1st place has to go to the story on myway news... "A U.N. panel created to recommend how the Internet should be run in the future has failed to reach consensus but did agree that no single country should dominate." As if anybody, ANYBODY cared what the U.N. thinks about anything -- least of all the future of the Internet. But Mr. Ed's revenge beats even the Wilson/Plame non-issue for pure laugh appeal.

[baldilocks]

Let that be a lesson to others: no horsing around, horse play, etc.

Stopping now.

[Kate]

I almost hate to say this, but the article you linked to was an abbreviation of a longer article that actually appeared in The Seattle Times, and on the front page of their Web site. In that article, it was spelled out somewhat obliquely that the dead man was not engaging in relations with a nag, but with a stallion. And that the man was the, ahem, recipient. That was how he apparently sustained his fatal injuries. A quote from a police spokesperson inicated that animal-human relations of that precise nature are nearly unheard of. I don't what to think of what had to be done to entice the stallion.

Oh, what a wonderful world.

[notgoing to say ;oP]

just thought i'd mention this has been going on along time.. usually there isn't anything needed to intice a male horse into doing something like that.. they like stimulation like most male animals.. but if you did a search i'm sure you could find one of the many vids out there that actually show it.. I have to admit i've seen one or two and it's Very Scary to think someone could even do something like that.. Raises questions like where does it go.. and what about organs... eeehhh

[Chat Binaire]

Reading how the police are planning to investigate whether sex was forced on "smaller, weaker animals" makes me wonder how they're going to go about it.

Do they have a rape kit for sheep?

In the meantime, I can't get that Spinal Tap song out of my head...

[Todd Patina]

I wonder if perhaps the stallion could be charged with rape for "taking" this stupid idiot? I wonder how much meth they fed the stallion beforehand? Boy, this really gives literal meaning to f#@%ing the hell out of someone, doesn't it? ;-)

[Horse_Wang_geller]

NO,, there were no small animals at that farm. Nor would any animals of any size, be harmed there. It doesn't take much at all, to get a stallion or bull or large male dog, to want to have a go at anything that's standing in front of them. They're pretty good, at reading the intents of willing participants. There was no drugs involved there! What really killed him, was NOT going the the hospital right away. He waiting over 2 and a half hours, before he decided to go to the emergency room-too late, then.