Brutally Honest

125,000

And on it goes:

Asia's tsunami death toll soared above 125,000 on Thursday as millions scrambled for food and clean water and rumors of new giant waves sent many fleeing inland in panic.

I'm really tore up over this...  struck by it all.  I wish I could put my thoughts down but I'm struggling with that in big ways... some of it more a fear of revealing what's really banging around inside the old noodle over this... this... heartless tragedy... this devastation that seems so... empty of the presence of God.

So I'll do what I think I'm pretty good at... finding that which others have to say (or have said) that seems to ring familiar, at least in part, in my own head.  Today, it's from Steph at Just Etchings, who has come across something that... resonates:

Noonday Devil

I know there's hope in anger
And tenderness in shame
Sometimes I find you
On the other side of pain

But sometimes in the heat of day
When I close my eyes to pray
It seems like you are far from me
My prayers are all in vain

In my hour of hopelessness
In my deep despair
The noonday devil whispers in my ear

I know that you are with me
But I can't feel a thing
The noonday devil
Has come around again

Oh, Lord, make me angry
Oh, Lord, make me cry
Oh, Lord, please don't leave me here
To fall into the devil's lies

Father, you have called me
To live a life that's true
That all my labours and my words
Would speak my love for you

But walking through this desert
Life is empty and mundane
The noonday devil
Has come around again

Oh, Lord, make me angry
Oh, Lord, make me cry
Oh, Lord, please don't leave me here
To fall into the devil's lies

Oh, Lord make me angry
Oh, Lord, make me cry
Oh, Lord, break my cold, cold heart
So I can know your love inside.
Song by Fernando Ortega

Heavy... but familiar...    parts of it more than I'd like to admit to...

Thanks Steph...  I think...

100,000

Daily it seems it goes from bad to worst:

The death toll from the earthquake and tsunamis that devastated coastal areas in southern Asia soared to nearly 77,000 on Wednesday, and the Red Cross said it feared that it could exceed 100,000 once bodies buried in the mud and wreckage are counted.

And yet, people are responding.  Click on the Amazon link below and visibly see a portion of the outpouring (with kudos to Reverend Sensing for the link):

I hope some of you will too. 

And I'm heartened by the fact that my struggles with what has happened are struggles others too are having (misery loving company et al).

Iphy feels "empty, angry, fragmented, depleted, scared, and very, very sad."

Dave struggles with the theological implications some cling to.

Juliette deals (effectively I think) with accusations that she's a fear-mongerer.

And FeebleKnees, once more ends her post with a heart-wrenching (and oh so poignant) prayer after wondering what kind of God can bear it all.

And somehow, it all helps me deal...

... a little.

60,000

The numbers are reeling:

Stricken Indian Ocean nations worked swiftly on Wednesday to bury thousands of bodies as experts warned disease could kill as many people as the 60,000 already dead from the violent crush of Sunday's tsunami.

And it's good to know that I'm not alone when there are those like David who wonder aloud, as I do, where God might be in all this:

I can only suppose you are deeply saddened by the terrible, unimaginable catastrophe on the other side of the world; by the loss of life with which the world has been inflicted and with the loss of life still to come as the rest of the world moves as fast as it can to bring food, shelter, antibiotics, makeshift sanitation and clothing – there is no way to move fast enough. What are people of faith, like us, to do?

Question and grieve. Even the God of my understanding said at the end “’Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?’ which means, ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’”

These are days when we can feel not only personally forsaken, but as if the earth itself has been forsaken. It’s not only justifiable to pray “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me” – it is mandatory; our humanity demands it. As His did.

Yet David ends with an exhortation:

We can all help. Here is a link to 25 non-governmental agencies in the field right now providing relief. Make a donation today.

And there's FeebleKnees, someone I now read regularly, who chastises those Christians who've drawn ignorant conclusions about this tragedy yet finds the grace to end her must read post  with this heartfelt prayer:

Dear Lord, Where can we turn but to you? Who has the power, strength, and spirit that is so desperately needed? It is not in governments or organizations that we trust, but we look to You who knows the names and hearts of every life that was lost, of every survivor and grief-struck person.

Provide what is most needed for each - food, shelter, medicine, compassion. Send people who are willing to comfort and help, equip and strengthen them with your steadfast love. Help them to work tirelessly to distribute aid and hope.

Soften our hearts Lord, and teach us to be humble representatives of your grace and mercy. Help us to pray. Teach us to love, comfort, strengthen, help, protect, provide, and bless.

Jesus, we don't understand, we can't begin to fathom all that has happened. We are awed and humbled. Be with those for whom this tragedy is a stumbling block to faith in your love for all people. I don't know what to say to such a one Lord, but you do. Help me to be loving and kind to those who are doubting and angry.

Your word says that the fervent prayer of the righteous man avails much. Lord I don't feel effective, and absent your grace I am not righteous. Jesus, please receive the yearnings, cries and pleas of my heart, and all the unspoken things for which there are no words to convey.

Amen...

And amen...

23,700 dead and climbing

This is a tragedy of Biblical proportions:

The International Red Cross reported 23,700 deaths and expressed concern about waterborne diseases like malaria and cholera. Jan Egeland, the U.N. Emergency Relief Coordinator, said millions of people were affected - by lost homes, polluted drinking water, destroyed sanitation - and that the cost of the damage would "probably be many billions of dollars."

"We cannot fathom the cost of these poor societies and the nameless fishermen and fishing villages and so on that have just been wiped out. Hundreds of thousands of livelihoods have gone," he told reporters.

The United States dispatched disaster teams Monday and prepared a $15 million aid package to the Asian countries hit by a massive earthquake and tsunamis. Eight Americans were killed, and U.S. officials were seeking to contact hundreds of Americans who remain unaccounted for in the region, Secretary of State Colin Powell said. "We will do everything we can to immediately help," Powell said.

And I will do what little I can do by linking to this blog set up specifically as a result of the disaster.  There are many links at that site to charitable organizations but what caught my eye was this:

Disaster Snapshot
Country	Dead	Injured	Missing
Sri Lanka	13,000	3,000	?
India	7,110	?	30,000+
Indonesia	5,000	?	30,000+
Thailand	1,000+	7,346	1,200
Somalia	100+	?	?
Myanmar	56+	?	?
Malaysia	59	200+	29
Maldives	52	?	68
Bangladesh	2	?	?
Kenya	1	?	?
Total	26,000+	10,546+	60,000+

? = Unknown
As of 5:00 a.m, Indian Standard time, 28/12/2004
Source Wikipedia

Incredible.

And my reference to this being biblical in it's proportion is shared by Juliette of Baldilocks fame:

But consider this:

3 As Jesus was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately. “Tell us,” they said, “when will this happen, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?”

4 Jesus answered: “Watch out that no one deceives you. 5 For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Christ,[a]’ and will deceive many. 6 You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. 7 Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. 8 All these are the beginning of birth pains.

(Matthew 24: 3-8)

Hey, I don’t have an inside line to God. I’m just pointing out what the Guy said. Could be a coincidence, for all I know.

There was a time when I would've heartily agreed with the premise and although now I might be a tad more skeptical of tying world events to Scriptural prophecy, I can certainly see where the tie-in could be made.

At this point, all I can do is join with FeebleKnees as she struggles with how to react:

What do you even begin to ask of God when a tragedy of this magnitude strikes? What words are there that can adequately express your heart? So many lives! How fleeting!

It is hard to write today, thinking about the loss of life, and the anquish of the survivors. There just don't seem to be words for it.

God, be God.

Amen... and amen...

Man knows not his time...

Reggie White - Dead at 43:

Mike Golic: "Reggie White was the greatest defensive end of all time, but as great as he was on the field, he was that much greater off the field. I'd like to take a moment to tell you what kind of person Reggie White was. I had the pleasure to play with Reggie from 1987-1992, and those were five wonderful years because he was there. He was a man who led wherever he went whether it was on the football field or off it. When he chose a path, he stuck to it, and that's part of the reason why he was great on and off the field.
"He was one of my closest friends off the field, and I'm extremely sad that I'm here to have to eulogize such a great man.

"I will miss Reggie, and my thoughts and prayers go out to his wife, Sara, and his two lovely children."

Mark Schlereth: "Reggie White was one of the greatest football players I've ever seen or lined up against. He was amazingly dominant and someone that a team spent a week preparing for. When an offensive line stepped onto the field, it was imperative to locate where White was lined up to have some semblance of a chance at figuring out how he was going to disrupt your offense.

"I'll never forget one of the first times I ever had to face White on the field. I was playing for the Washington Redskins at the time, and I didn't really expect to have to face him. At the time, the Eagles would switch him all over the line so that he'd occasionally face a guard. I'll never forget how I felt when I came out of the huddle and realized he was lining up to face me. I immediately started wondering what I'd done to deserve this butt whupping.

"Off the field, there wasn't a hypocritical bone in his body. He affected many people with his personality, beliefs and the stewardship of his life. He was one of the greatest and noblest men I've ever been around. Regardless of where you were in your walk in life, he was going to treat you with kindness, compassion, love and respect. We've lost a great man today."

Unbelievable.  Reggie White, dead.

Rest in peace Reggie...  and Lord be with his family, tangibly.

10,000+ dead

10,000+ feared dead:

The death toll from an earthquake off Indonesia and the tsunamis that it unleashed reached 10,226 today, with officials reporting deaths in seven countries in southern and southeastern Asia.

In Indonesia at least 4185 people were killed as the country took the full force of a huge earthquake and tidal waves that swallowed entire coastal villages.

Sri Lanka was hard hit with 3225 people confirmed dead, 1600 inured and many more missing, the military and Tamil Tiger rebels said.

At least 2447 people were killed in southern India, with the chief minister of Tamil Nadu announcing 1567 deaths in her state alone and at least 300 people killed on the country's Andaman islands, where 700 are missing.

...

The US Geological Survey said the earthquake registered west of the Indonesian island of Sumatra measured 8.9 on the Richter scale.

Death toll:

Indonesia: 4185
Sri Lanka: 3225
India: 2447
Thailand: 310
Malaysia: 42
Maldives: 15
Bangladesh: 2
Total: 10,226

The numbers are sure to climb...

Dear Lord, have mercy...

Merry Christmas 2004

From the Staff at Crosswalk to me...

From me to all those who visit us here at Brutally Honest...

God bless you each.

UPDATE:  Joshua Claybourn has posted a quote that sums things up nicely on this Christmas day:

"The really staggering Christian claim is that Jesus of Nazareth was God made man -- that the second person of the Godhead became the 'second man' (I Cor. 15:47), determining human destiny, the second representative head of the race, and that He took humanity without loss of deity, so that Jesus of Nazareth was as truly and fully divine as He was human. Here are two mysteries for the price of one -- the plurality of persons within the unity of God, and the union of Godhead and manhood in the person of Jesus. It is here, in the thing that happened at the first Christmas, that the profoundest and most unfathomable depths of the Christian revelation lie. 'The Word was made flesh' (John 1:14); God became man; the divine Son became a Jew; the Almighty appeared on earth as a helpless human baby, unable to do more than lie and stare and wriggle and make noises, needing to be fed and changed and taught to talk like any other child. And there was no illusion or deception in this: the babyhood of the Son of God was a reality. The more you think about it, the more staggering it gets. Nothing in fiction is so fantastic as is this truth of the incarnation."

-- J.I. Packer, "Knowing God"

As is said so often in the blogosphere....  Indeed.

'Twas the fright before Christmas...

... and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, they were hiding from this louse.

Some of these Santas would make me cry too...

Hat tip to Mike at Waving or Drowning...

Christmas Horrors - A Cowboy Gun shortage

  This is the proverbial must read. Just trust me:

My Christmas quest was simple enough: buy toy cowboy guns for my boys. Caleb and Eli have boots and hats, bandanas and sheriff's badges. But they don't have holsters and guns. Without those critical components, however, you've really just got yourself a Village People costume. We've made do until now with two wooden pistols that were originally designed to shoot rubber bands. But I wanted to get them shiny cowboy guns, the kind that make a little boy's heart race, that turn a bad guy's legs to jelly, and that give a damsel that funny climbing-the-rope-in-gym-class feeling when she sees them strapped around your waist.

So I got up early one recent Saturday, and set out to catch Toys R Us right when they opened. This is advisable if like me you find yourself drawing hysterical conclusions about the future of civilization based on your experiences shopping in malls and driving behind school buses. If you can't find anything nice to say about your fellow man, I like to think, then best just to avoid him.

So I walked inside the Toy Mecca in vain hopes of quickly completing my mission. In this I was working against teams of psychologists and store design specialists all bent on exactly the opposite goal, which is to keep the hapless shopper in the store for as long as there are dollars left in his wallet. I winded my way past rows of video games and Barbie paraphernalia (I think boys might benefit from owning a Barbie doll; every young man should understand what an expensive proposition it is to cohabitate with a narcissistic woman built like a stripper), past noisy electronic gizmos and remote-controlled devices.

But I couldn't find guns. I wandered up and down aisles until I spotted a salesman. "Excuse me," I said, "where can I find cowboy guns?"

"Oh. We don't sell those." He looked at me as if I had just asked him for nipple clamps, or perhaps a Bible. His voice was tinged with the self-righteousness of people who announce to others that they recycle, or that their children attend Eugene V. Debs Elementary because they believe in supporting the public schools.

Have I teased you enough? Go now and read the rest. You will not regret it.

No, that's not my little brother...

... but I could understand the confusion... 

He does this sort of thing all the time...

Heh...

And oh by the way, Mikey has just been promoted to E-5 in the Coastie Reserves...

Yes, we're proud...  damned so...

UPDATE/OOPS:  Forgot to give credit where credit is due, the good guy(s)/gal(s) at Speed of Thought and my regular read at BlackFive: The Paratrooper of Love